Spent hours checking out modules and sorting out the remaining half of my University life. At least I imagined I could have some fun by putting in some unimportant electives such as drama performance or sociology, but reality always strucks the opposite way. No such american time, a chinese phrase would say.
I had made serious mistakes when it comes to decisions in life, and I wanna rectify it but I am helpless. Is it still laziness or unwillingness to face how my current life will crumble if I do? Resolution to be more hardworking didn't work out last semester, sleep early and correct my body clock seems like a regular swear I make.
Is it the time of the day (almost 5am in the morning) or the feeling of helplessness that is causing my inner scream for a soul that can understand me. Stop critisizing me, stop telling me the status quo of this world, stop brainwashing me with your propaganda. Can you listen to me, understand me and give me a sincere advice? I wanna dream, wanna try, wanna be confident.
My dreams change as I enter new phases in life, meet and see new people/things. I wanted to teach, wanna be someone to impact the new generation. But the grinding in NTU has rubbed off my passion, my pathetic state as a student discouraged my thought of being a role model. I can no longer stand infront of a class proud of my route in studies.
To have a small business of my own? That would certainly have thrilled me if this dream came 2 - 3 years ago, having a Cosplay cafe or just some dessert cafe for students to have a place to chill and study. You cannot study without tibits and good ambience (away from your bedroom and electronic devices of entertainment). But with the knowledge that firstly, I am not a business student, and the simple fact that I don't have any capital, simply put me off the idea.
What lies ahead for me? Simply just finish my course, and do whatever job I can find related to my degree. Boring, Dry, but quoting army term, I just have to suck thumb.
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